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Tell us about your experience (or your company’s experience) using any skill from Influencing with Integrity & see it featured on our website & social media accounts!
– Which skills worked for you and/or which did not.
– Whether or not your experience is meant just for us (we will not post anything without your consent).
– Whether or not we are to include any/all actual names (assuming we have your permission to spotlight your review).
The sales manager, Bob, of a major television major TV network was given a copy of Influencing with Integrity. Skeptical of the sales skills presented, he nevertheless decided to try matching a client’s movements to discover if this actually increased rapport. He’d flipped through the book one night, and his first client of the day was hyper, striding up and down his office as Bob tried to explain the parameters of their potential contract. Still skeptical, Bob got up from his chair and walked along with the client. Amazingly enough, rapport quickly developed.
“Matching” worked and right away an agreement was reached.
Bob was still unconvinced. After all, he’d been a salesman for ten years and these were new approaches he’d never heard of. His next appointment was with a saleswoman who was trying to gain his agreement for a joint venture. He decided to watch for her breathing to see if he could detect shifts. She was not a heavy breather and he was totally focused on her breathing, the rise and fall of her ample chest, when he realized she’d stopped talking sometime earlier. He looked up to see her staring at his face. She was obviously trying to decide how to respond to his fixated gaze at her chest. Bob mumbled and sputtered and talked of breathing rates, pointing to the pristine white book as if the title, Influencing with Integrity, was going to rescue him.
He then resolved to practice the new skills outside his office 😉
Below is a list of a some of the Syntonics skills taught within the book:
- Pay attention to the tone, tempo, & volume of their voice.
- What does their voice tell you about their state of mind?
- Use sensory based words for clarity.
- Use fat words for general agreements.
- Ask questions
- Listen more than talk.
- Determine the major perceptual preference of the other. Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic?
- Listen to their predicates. Notice which sense dominates.
- Say no more than three sentences, then wait for a response.
- Watch their eye movements.
- Watch their breathing.
- Watch their gestures.
- Watch their lower lip.
- Watch their skin color.
- Match their favorite perceptual system.
- Organize their responses into patterns.
- Make educated guesses about what the patterns signify. Be open to changing your conclusion.
- Notice rapport & non rapport.
- Regain lost rapport as soon as possible.
- If you don’t know the moment you lose rapport, you need more practice in sensory acuity.
- If you are enjoying yourself and have rapport, so will the others.
- Elicit their major beliefs.
- Avoid any direct clashes with your major beliefs.
- Discover as many components of their world view as possible.
- Put yourself in their shoes.
- Be flexible.
- Be creative and accepting of a contrary viewpoint.
- Create a metaphor to enlarge the other’s viewpoint.
- Create a win-win situation; it always beats a win-lose.
- No matter what side you are on, a win-lose becomes a lose-lose.
State of Excellence:
- If you are not in a state of excellence, get there.
- If the other is not in a state of excellence, you may lead them to one with rapport and the right questions.
- Be careful about covert anchoring. It borders on manipulation.
- Influencing works better in the long run.
- Respect for the other pays off.
- Smiles are magic, even in government agencies.
- Be entertaining.
- Have fun.
- Refrain from negative judgments – not doing so will kill rapport.
- Humor can change the energy!.
- Be congruent.
- You do not want to appear one-sided and uncaring about what is best for the other.
- Know your outcome.
- Find out their outcome.
- YOU TELL US!
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