Home > News and Views (Volume 3, Number 1 Cont )
The VAKE-Zine
Volume 3, Number 1                                        The VAK, est. 1982                                                        Spring 2007
Genie's News and Views
Part II


Planting Powerful Seeds
continued


Price Waterhouse and ARCO
Bulova, ATEX, Crowley
Century 21 and
Marshall Fields Co. for you see

These skills affect the bottom line
Business profits soared
Research proved skills equal profits
Figures could not be ignored

Genie flew to Novasibirsk
The Russians were enthralled
She trained Norwegians, Africans
Mexicans; Genie had a ball

Taiwanese, Indonesians
Were taught by trainers witty
Genie taught in Holland, Belgium,
France, Johannesburg, Sun City

Genie's book was translated
Eight different languages
You might laugh to see her art
In the Japanese pages

You would think with all of this
Her mMission was accomplished
No! People are still killing
So she still kept her wish

To change the world one by one
Just with communication
Skill that influence but do not coerce
Will prompt each to say "I won."

Then 5 years ago, fear returned
To the Training Departments
Training contracts disappeared
Fears from 9/11 made a dent.

Genie remembered her plan
to change the world one by one
She looked at the world wide web
And then thought, "This will be fun."

To teach skills that work
In a worth while endeavor
My 200 trainers may
Not be enough; we'll add moer.

The 50,000 we've trained
Are, without a doube, a good start
The world is waiting on the web
As long as we don't lose heart.


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Enjoying Difficult/Obnoxious People
continued

I had such delight in creating this article that I've been searching for difficult people ever since.  They become "easy" and even fascinating in their behaviors once you have these skills as options.  Here come the details for you to consider as you select from the list of five possible strategies.  You, of course, need a plan that brings about the result you want.   Different people demand different plans. 

1. CROSS OUT AND REPLACE

Replace judgment with curiosity….not easy to do, so we'll present easier ones for you to practice.  Eventually you can work up to curiosity for this shifts the energy around the interaction in a dramatic way.  Cross out judgment and replace with curiosity… you can tap into curiosity by remembering how it was when you went to bed on Christmas eve at age seven, wondering what   Santa was going to bring. Oddly enough, the content doesn't matter to the brain.  The emotion of curiosity is chemically based, and once elicited, it works fine on difficult people.

TAG Before These Additional Strategies

T        Take a deep breath

A         Ask yourself "What response do I want from this person?"
 
a. respect
b. admiration
c. anger
d. puzzlement
e. slight  irritation   
f.  interest.
g.. dis-interest
h. boredom.
i.  none of the above
j. other
Once you've decided the response you want……..
G
        Go for it! Select from all the words available the exact words to create the response you want. T is for "Take a breath," A is for "Ask yourself" and G is for "Go for it".   TAG will keep you calm, collected with an inner smile. 

2. TMM

"Tell me more"   then listen with the idea that each person on the planet has had some experiences not shared by others.  See if you can find one interesting piece of information from this person.

3.  INTERRUPT with "That reminds me of a story…."  Then tell a story about anything that moves the energy into a more up beat direction.  

4.  Look up and find a pleasant memory from your past, place this person inside that memory.  Then, in your imagination, go up to the person in the memory picture and whisper one word in his/her ear.  Do not laugh.  If you miss some of the on-going doom conversation, you can always say, "Something you said took me away.  Would you re-cap what you were saying?"  Most people do not listen to others so you may make a friend with this request.

5. Swirl your eyes.  Move your eyes around in an infinity circle, a lazy 8 on its side.  Do this several times while your communication partner  is looking away, if possible. Notice what happens inside your body after you do this.   If the other asks what you are doing, say, "Resting my eyes, and clearing my hard drive."  

Keep in mind that your own health and well-being can be tilted way off kilter by someone else's obnoxious input…about you, about your loved ones, about your friends.  It is positively all right for you to protect yourself from acid pouring out of the mouth of another person.   And even it is not "acid", just disapproval or bitter criticism, this can harm you.   I'm convinced we  human beings are more fragile than is customarily acknowledged, and  we respond on a physical level (migraine headaches, colds, flu) to attacks from others, even verbal attacks.  It is our right to protect ourselves with specific behavioral strategies  for those poor difficult people.  They are their own worst enemies.  Sprinkle a little compassion on your new options.

Enjoy trying out these strategies, and begin discovering more in your own interactions.

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