If you have been defining yourself with negative emotional coloring, you might want to remember your emotional response lasts only 90 seconds. Then a new emotion pops up. Some of us sense put downs to the words or even to the assessment of, say, “Female”, “American”, “Mexican”, and/or “Religious.” Some of us feel constantly judged in our interactions with others. This behavior on the part of other is named “prejudice”, and you will find it almost everywhere in some form.
You may not know that you can change your own negative response (your own opinion of self) to a positive response if you know how.
You can choose your next emotion. Do it. Pick a positive response.
If you are a woman, remember all your wins… your children, your successes, your circle of friends, whatever matters too you.
If you are disabled, remember your talents.
There are heroes and heroines in all categories. Select a category that fits you. Use these to create your emotional landscape. Enjoy your position and your view and your talents. You are one of a kind. Each time you shift from negative energy to positive, you shorten the time needed.
After awhile this becomes unconscious and your health will improve.
Also your disposition. Enjoy your life and your culture, as mysterious as it seems.
A Different Hurtle for Defining Yourself
The basic mental shenanigan at work when we interact with others is PROJECTION. We slide our emotional state onto others and think this is reality. If we feel “put down”, It is difficult to respond honestly with this distorted view. Our distorted view may push us to feel superior to others so we have a tendency to view them as ‘ “lower class”, “stupid,” “stunted,” “oblivious”,etc. Then we project this on to the other, and our interactions are a disaster.
Once we become aware of our own wish to feel special, then we are growing up and can let others be the way they are, without distortion. We can let them be “different”, “smart”,”clever”, “intelligent”, “handsome”, “pretty”, “creative”, or whatever. This allows you to be comfortable with your own habits, attitudes, talents, shortcomings, etc. We are not necessarily the way they judge us and they are not necessarily the way we judge them.
If you can give up judgement and try curiosity instead, your interactions will change and your opinion of yourself and others will improve. I guarantee it.